Sunday, February 14, 2010

"The Winter O-lame-pics": Total Waste Of Time!

Most people won't agree with me on this take, but I really don't care. I have a problem with the Winter Olympics. So many of these events are so obscure that I don't know of a single person that has ever even attempted these feats. Here are some of the events in question:

1. Biathlon: This is an event that involves cross country skiing and rifle shooting. Competitors are required to engage in a rather grueling cross country race. When they reach the shooting range they then must drop their poles and take five shots at a metal target 50 meters away. The first one to cross the finish line wins, but shooting accuracy always factors in depending on the specific subtype of this event being engaged in.

2. Bobsleigh: Bobsledding involves racing against competitors in bobsleds downhill on ice.

3. Curling: The 2010 Winter Olympics will hold two events in curling- a women's and men's tournament. Each of these tournaments starts with 10 curling teams with two playing against one another at a time. While playing on ice, teams take turns pushing 19.1-kilogram stones towards a set of rings or circles. The object is to get the stones as close to the exact center of these rings as you can.

4. Ice Sledge Hockey: This is like normal ice hockey except that players sit on aluminum or steel sledges fitted with two blades instead of skates. Further, they play with two double-ended sticks, one in each hand. One end of the stick is used to move the sledge, while the other is used to manipulate the puck. Just like normal ice hockey, competitors attempt to score goals against the other team's goaltender.

5. Luge: In this event, racers travel on fiberglass sleds that are initially compelled by pulling on fixed handles on the ice. Later they use spiked gloves on the surface for further acceleration. There are singles and doubles events in this sport. It is a competition conducted in heats.

6. Skeleton: Competitors race in this event on fiberglass and metal sleds that look somewhat like a skeleton. Men's and women's individual events will take place in Vancouver in 2010.

*** Ok, what do cross-country skiing and rifle shooting have to do with each other? What the hell is Ice Sledge Hockey? And furthermore, what's wrong with normal Ice Hockey? In Skeleton, you race on sleds that look like skeletons...WTF? Luge and Bombsleigh seem similar, but can you name 1 person who has ever attempted either of those 2 sports? And Curling...come on, who are we kidding? It's not a sport. Just wait, in 2012 they will include Poker in the Summer Olympics. What a crock. Do these people really deserve gold, silver, and bronze metals for being the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd best in the world out of maybe 10,000 total athletes attempting these "sports"? I'd rather watch "Everybody Loves Raymond", and that's the worst show on television.

Oh well, that's my take and I'm sticking to it.